I won't even comment on how long it's been since I've written.
Dave and I are getting married on May 29th, 2011. We got engaged on December 12, 2009. If my calculations are correct, (don't bank on it, the highest math class I took in college was Problem Solving 101) that's a whopping 533 days. 533!!! Holy Moses, that's a lot.
The length of time between now and when I finally become "Mrs. B" can be overwhelming sometimes. There are days when I want nothing more than to come home from work to our apartment to wait for my husband to walk through the door. I can't wait to sink into our couch (that we will most likely find on craigslist) with him and look around at the home that we've made together. I'm waiting for the day when I don't have to say "goodnight" and watch him drive away to his house miles down the road. I won't miss that at all, no sirree.
But! After a lot of thought and prayer, I'm beginning to see that God works in this time of waiting. There are things a person needs to work out individually before he/she can fully commit to another person, and I'm finding that He uses this time to help us do just that. I think its really important to be aware of how your mind and your heart find their way through times of struggle, of grieving, of joy and achievement. This life is completely nuts, and it's so hard to prepare for all the ups and downs that come our way. But I think that we need to just stop every once in a while and process how we've travelled through the "mountains and valleys," if you will. When it comes to knowing yourself, it's ok to be selfish, because once the "I do's" are said, things are going to change in a BIG way. Recall when you learned when you were 5 years old (or 7 in my case...kidding) that 1 + 1 = 2? Not after the wedding. From that point on it's 1 + 1 = 1. And this isn't a bad thing. It just means that more time is spent thinking about "us" than there is to think about "me."
So all I'm saying is... take advantage of this time. Relish in the self-exploration and have fun discovering all the things you didn't know about you. And when you come upon a characteristic that doesn't thrill you, take five minutes to wallow, and then do what you have to do to fix it.
Peace be unto you dudes.